The multitude of female orgasm.
Recently a client of mine expressed to me that when she is self pleasuring it tends to always be the same experience. Clitoral stimulation and a wonderful imagination! This blog post is equally here to celebrate that magic and open the conversation to more pathways, more pleasure, more embodiment, more integration when it comes to self pleasuring.
I explained to her that because clitoral stimulation usually requires fast pace, friction filled and often ferocious energy where the pleasure builds and peaks and drops off, it usually also requires fantasy.
The speed and intensity alone can sometimes block presence and embodiment and when those things are lacking it’s easy for the mind to take over.
The four EFFS I called it.
FAST. FRICTION. FEROCIOUS. FANTASY.
There is so much more available than a clitoral orgasm!
Let’s be honest the moment sometimes calls for it but I really hope for all women (and men) that we learn to access MORE THAN THIS.
The same way I would explain to a male bodied client that there is more to his sexuality than holding a phone in one hand and himself in the other,
How to explore more?
Slowing down is the first step. Slower, slower, even slower….. yep there you go ;)
Not going straight to the clitoris is the second, learning your anatomy and creating new relationships with ALL of the pleasure centres available to you.
Accessing the parasympathetic nervous system is the main pathway to deeper, longer, more energy sustaining, life giving orgasms.
Are you avoiding your sexual energy?
You see our sexual energy doesn’t exist only to please others, allow us to make babies, cure boredom and help us to fall asleep at night. Its powerfully creative, abundant and connected to everything.
It also tends to be what we use to avoid feeling our feelings and truly embodying who we are, what our purpose is and how we really feel in any given moment.
A lot of people I work with are initially so resistant to this information as it requires emotional availability and let’s be honest, most of us weren’t taught emotional awareness or resilience growing up.
Mostly we were taught that feeling our feelings and expressing them isn’t safe so we naturally avoid that. Whilst this is something that is modelled to us in our younger years or in adult relationships, we are also simultaneously told in one way or another that our sexuality is a shameful thing.
So as a therapist, it makes sense to me that we use our sexual energy to avoid how we feel.
It makes sense yet it makes no sense at all ….
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If you read this post and question whether you’re avoiding your sexual energy, think you’re emotionally unavailable or you might just need help selecting the right tool for self pleasure? Then book in for a free 15 minute chat with me and feel into whether you would like to work with me, I can support online or in person.
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